quotes2you - The best Facebook and Twitter quotes and sayings that you find on your wall
The best and funniest Facebook & Twitter Quotes
We have all seen them and wonder where they originate. Well, we don't have an answer for that but we have been collate together some of the humorous and amusing Quotes that are found on your pages and walls each day....
"With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine."
"Argh!! Women! Mine tells me im getting fat, so I go to the gym. Then she moans she doesnt see me enough coz im always down the gym, so I left a bit earlier to get back earlier, when I get home shes asleep! Whats the point! Im turning gay!
"If a book about failures doesn't sell is it a success"
"It's hard to soar like an eagle when your surrounded by turkeys"
"I don't get drunk... I get AWESOME! "
"I have come to the conclusion that Google must be female, as she has the answer to everything!"
"Old Chinese proverb says " man who sleeps with cock in biscuit tin must be F*******g crackers"
"Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life, no one helps you once you've been f******"
"The two theories when it comes to arguing with a woman..neither of them work though...."
"If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears, would it create beautiful irony?"
Im in a&e after swallowing some lego. The doctors arent worried but im shitting bricks!
Facebook is still the best way to keep in touch with people you don't want to keep in touch with
I wouldn't need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my ex's got fat
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
"Why is there a show called When animals attack'?, It should be called 'When stupid people go near dangerous animals"
"It' not that I am antisocial, I just don't like you"
It's all about perspective. The sinking ship of Titanic was like a godsend to the lobsters in the kitchen
I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes stuck in my nose.
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."
"I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."
"Thinks that facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “what’s your problem today?”
"ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ"
" Hey! I was wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?"
"The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
I`m not single, I`m just in a long relationship with fun & freedom
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone
I have come to the conclusion that I don't need a torch any more, If I want to find something hard in a darkroom I will just use my shinbone
We will be updating are Facebook and Twitter quotes monthly. Post your Funny Facebook and Twitter status's and quotes on our Facebook Site and we will publish them here so that the world can enjoy them